THEM

May 28, 2026

One summer afternoon during a family camping trip in New Jersey when I was about 6 or 7 years old, a horse fly suddenly appeared next to my ear and started following me everywhere I went. I’m sure that, from its own perspective, it was just going about its business doing ordinary horse fly things, but to me it felt enormous, ominous, and purposeful. I can't remember if it actually bit me, but I can still summon the hot panic of not being able to get away from its threatening buzz. To my small self, that fly wasn't a little distraction, it was a crisis with wings.

The memory surfaced recently when my daughter Ella sent me the above photo, taken in Quintana Beach County Park, near Houston. The point was clear: Proceed, and you will be under attack, and not by any adorable Northeastern bugs you might be used to. No, these bugs were born in Texas. Beware.

Sometimes that is exactly how challenges feel, especially to kids: Problems loom much larger to them than they do to adults with decades of experience. A broken toy, a skinned knee, a mistake in front of the class, or a slight misunderstanding with a friend may be a fly in the ointment to us, but a Texas-sized monster to a child. The trick is to validate the feeling without validating helplessness. We stand beside them and say, Yes, I know, this feels huge. The bugs, even if they're not as large as they think, are real. They watch us shoo them away and learn gradually to do it for themselves.

If I had seen the sign above, my first instinct would have been to flee back to the safety of the car. And Ella said it was not exaggerating, at least not by much: The moment she stepped onto the property, giant mosquitoes descended, and they were hungry; even leggings soaked with OFF Deep Woods did not deter them. She assures me that the photo she got of the Bay-breasted Warbler was worth all the bites on the backs of her knees. She knew better than to show me the damage.

Clearly, the script has flipped.

—Debra Ross, publisher

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